Ritmo Americano

On Friday I went to work like usual and came in like usual and turned on my computer like usual and went to the bathroom not like usual. Then I came back and there were two guys robbing my office! I saw one of them. Not sure if he saw me. So I ran to the other office across the hall and called the police. They had gotten away by the time the police showed up, and took several computers with them. But I am happy I had gone to the bathroom when they entered and walked right by my stuff and could have walked right by me.

So this morning I was deliberately late because I was nervous to go in. I talked to the property manager this morning and he says there is now a security guard from 11-7, but I wonder how long that is going to last. We had one last time we got broken in too, for about a month.

This weekend was pretty fun. We drove 90 miles each way just to go to a mall in Fort Worth. It was more for the adventure than anything, and my husband got the links put in the watch (which everyone else says they have to send it out and will be a week until he can get it back) and we got a cute pink walker for the baby, which she likes when she's not in a bad mood.

Sunday I cooked some meat but I didn't like it, so I ate sandwiches instead.

Tuesday is starting Weight Watchers, I'm going with Moises sister Xochitl, so we will see if I can take off the pounds like last time.

I look like a DALEK.



Yea that about sums it up. I need to EXTERMINATE the pounds.

But instead I'm back into the old habits. At least I'm comfortable today, because I'm wearing a pull over shirt and a skirt with an elastic waistband. I can NOT get back up to 220 - I'm not going to do it. I just have to figure out how to get my will power together. Yesterday I had my typically gigantic donut shop breakfast and I did today too. The good thing is I only ate one more time after that yesterday, a Healthy Choice meal, but I probably had way more than my day's allotment of calories before 7:00 am.

Anyway, let's talk about other stuff than my fass.

I don't know why I wasn't as excited as my co-workers and friends about the inauguration yesterday. I mean, I voted against my own political party in order to vote for Obama three times actually - in the primary, in the county caucus, and in the general election. I was rabid on the message boards pre-election about it, but I think it may have been more of the "thrill of the troll" and the fact that even though I'm not too keen on either of the two major parties, one is much more disagreeable to me than the other. I understand the importance of the occasion and how it's amazing that in my lifetime - one in which my kindergarten year was the first year that school district officially desegregated - we do have a Black President of the United States. And that truly is an accomplishment, both for President Obama himself as well as for the general climate of normality and acceptance of the electorate at this point in history.

But I look at the world around me, and can't help but think if he knows what he's getting into. Our economic system is weakened by the pressures of corporate capitalism and greed. There are other countries that depend so much on the United States that the worse our economy gets, theirs gets even worse in multiples. There are global situations in which the United States is involved in that if you think too much about them will make your brain bleed and get you into arguments at work that you should never be having at work and then make you feel weird whenever you actually have to do real work with the same people you had been discussing with. Yesterday was probably the happiest day of W's life.

The only thing that makes me not spin off into this positive feedback loop of worry, annoyance and despair is to bring it way down to the micro -  to be grateful that I am currently in a stable situation, and try to ignore all the rest of the bad happening in the world. I'll leave that to Barack and Bono - they get paid the big bucks for that stuff. My job is to be resourceful and smart, take care of my family and not be a negative influence on anyone else's.

I NEED A VACATION

It says

see Meredith C. Avila Camarena

<_< (That is the shifty eye smily that I use for disgust or cynicism)

So I got home and I was tired, but I couldn't sleep because of the baby, so I ate. And I ate the rest of the bag of potato rolls and a few handfuls of chocolate chips.

Not really a good start, but I guess tomorrow is another day.

I didn't stop for donuts today. I drank a Slim-Fast instead. Maybe I should be keeping track of Weight Watcher points again. The Slim-Fast is 4 points. My Points total per day is currently 27. My husband's is 36. So that's what I will use to calculate my eating. Last time I did it, I lost a lot of weight in a little time, but when I quit the program I reverted back to my old eating habits, and worse.

So my starting weight is 210 pounds this time.

Last time I was on Weight Watchers I lived off of microwave meals and Jack in the Box Southwest Chicken Pitas (they are on my sh*tlist forever for taking those away - the only 4 point thing on the menu and GOOD.)

I really hate being back to step one. But I hate this fat that doesn't fit in my pants even more. It's affecting lots of parts of my life. I don't feel comfortable even in my own skin anymore. And with the family history, I need to get to my target weight in order to even continue living.

So. Yeah. Slim Fast is not tasty as donuts, but it is necessary. I have to go back to the beginning, to examine every decision I make. Is it good? Is it healthy? Is it beneficial? Is it edifying? 

Statistics:

Height: 5'2"
Current/Starting Weight: 210
Goal Weight: 125-135
Pounds to Lose: 75-85

I have too many blogs. But I'll try and keep this one more up to date, as it has some of my real friends from real life in my friends list.

I'm at work so I will have to write more later, I have a whole lot of worky stuff to do.

In the last week or so, I have done the following things:

1. Gone to the Ft. Worth Zoo
2. Gone swimming and had lunch with Christina
3. Visited my mother
4. Eaten breakfast at the original Kerbey Lane Cafe
5. Gone swimming in the freezing waters of Krause Springs
6. Visited the Texas History Museum
7. Visited the Capitol
8. Visited the Mexi-Arte Museum
9. Visited my grandparents
10. Cleaned the entire house
11. Gone to the Dallas World Aquarium
12. Visited the Dallas Museum of Art
13. Watched The Game and Happy Feet
14. Gone to Six Flags

And those are just the big important things. Among other things, I got two sunburns, got locked out of my hotel room at 10pm and had to have the owner reprogram the door manually, ate Japanese and Mexican food and sandwiches and cereal (not all at the same time), and played Chinese Checkers and lost.

Whatever this vacation ended up costing me, it was all worth it. I can't believe tomorrow I'm going back to work. I wonder if the changes will continue there to my good as much as the vacation did to me.

I have two problems.

The first is that I am always getting these insurmountable cravings for Masala Wok or Whataburger, even when I am not hungry. This is making me rather fleshy and my clothes are starting to fit badly. The second is that I spend too much money and after all of my bills for the month are paid, I don't have much left to save.

So starting now every time I start craving Whataburger, instead I will transfer $8.21 to my savings account, which is what I would have spent on two taquitos with cheese, a cinnamon roll and an orange juice. When I am craving Masala Wok, I will transfer $12.65 to my savings account, which is equivalent to chicken tikka masala, a drink and a decent tip.

Of course, this idea would have to come after I ate at Whataburger again this morning.

I have food here at work! I have food at home! There is no reason I should be eating in restaurants all the time. And it is so obvious that when I do, I don't feel good after it. So there is no good reason I should be wasting my money like that. Why does it have to be such a complex problem? Just do it!

Bavu tells me that the complicated is lies and the truth is simple. And Moy tells me that a problem stops being a problem when a solution is found. Both of them are right.

This morning I drank most of the 24 ounce Rockstar energy juice and I feel very odd. It makes me want to lie down more than anything. It's not that it makes me tired, but I think I could take this feeling better lying down. I am not sure that this is how rockstars party.

And I'm back at work. I have four tickets to complete today, several to complete tomorrow, a pretty big meeting that will generate a lot of work this afternoon, and a level 5 class to teach tonight.

The 4th of July was a nice vacation for me. I'm glad that it came in the middle of my busy week. I like working a lot, but I have just been getting inexplicably tired. For this reason I'm working a lot less during this next cycle of classes. I went to see my mother in the morning, I ate brisket at her house, then we went shopping. Then I left Sanger and went to visit one of my friends, who had a lot of people over for the 4th of July and it was also a birthday party, and I ate lots of picadillo and flan. Went swimming for just half an hour because the pool closed at 6pm, but it was sufficient for me, I hadn't been swimming in a long time and I just wanted to get in the water. The water slides were just an added bonus, although it was not so fun at hitting the water, it made me flip and I got water in my ears and nose, and disoriented as well. This is because I can't see when I don't have my contact lenses in.

I've been starting to think about moving on with the direction of my life, but I can't make any decisions regarding this until after the first of the year. I am, however, doing research, and starting to save money, so that I can get certified to teach school. This is what I really want to do, but I need to be sure of some things first, and work really hard in both jobs for a few months and save a lot of money.

I need to take the next few months to decide if I should go just the route of a generalist in elementary and junior high levels, or get my bilingual certification.

I know I am years too late on this. The last time I checked out Livejournal was back in the day when you had to be invited by someone who already had a Livejournal, and I wasn't really into those communities like that. So now that it is open to the boring public like me, I will start my own. I wish there were a way to import my Myspace entries over here, because I'd been keeping that one since 2003, I'm what you would call an early adopter of Myspace, but late at everything else.

This page is semi-secret in that some friends now know about it and others don't. There's been a lot of changes around my life recently, and unfortunately some of the people that used to be really cool with me will now walk past me like they never even knew me. Others are trying to take this opportunity to get to know me better, but unfortunately (or not) I am not available to anyone else from that crowd. For one reason that I don't want to be seen as that girl who goes from mattress to mattress within the same circle, but for the most important reason that I am very happy with what I am doing right now.

There is a lot of work to do today but tomorrow is a holiday and I'm feeling kind of lethargic. Today is also test day at school! So maybe I'll get to leave a little bit early.

I will write more later. Welcome me to the Livejournal.